People aren't always aware that they have so much. They forget that they are living a good life maybe not to them but compared to others. We all take things for granted, we all have things we are grateful for and finally there are things that we can all "take in" to change our perspective of things and living of life. People go through life not eve thinking about what it is that thy have , but what they don't have. They never think about what they are grateful for but what possibly more they can get their hands on.

                 There are very few things that I take for granted but the few that I do I'm not proud of. One thing that I have done is not always listen to my family. They will give me advice and ill just make it seem a if I take it into consideration but in reality I'm just going to let it go. There was ne time I was going out to a party and my brother told me to make sure that my friends don't drink and drive. I know that all my friends are always careful with doing what they do so I don't take too much into mind. As my friend leaves me at the party to go get someone else he contacts me letting me know that he almost got into a car accident. I told him to make sure not to be drinking and driving and for the rest of the night everything was all good.

                   There are a lot of things that I am grateful for in this world , my family , thing objects I have, the opportunity to do certain things. Not everyone in this world has family ,nice objects and opportunity's to do things. There are kids around the world that I see on the news saying that they loose their family at a young age. They will grow up and not know who were the real people that brought them into this world. Everyday I look at all the different types of struggles people go through and I take into consideration that I really do need to be more thankful for the things that I get. I take in the fact that people have nearly nothing in some situations and because of that I donate bags of clothes every month or when ever I can to the homeless.

Gratitude

Gratitude is the
only attitude I have
and it makes me sad

that not everyone
has this as a main plan
never the less I

always be the man
no one possibly can
I am who I am

no one sees the lack
lack of people who need that change
but I am here to

make a change
stop the pain that's in the way
making it  better day

                       

 Everyone has fears, assets and obstacles. We can use it to hold us down or we can use it to motivate and push us forward. These type of things effect you, the type of person you are/ will become. It is here for a reason it makes or breaks the person. For me I take anything just let it process and make a better situation out of it if its possible.
                        



 My fear is letting my love ones down. My family , little sister , mother and girlfriend . They all look up to me to get things done. They want to make sure I keep them happy, safe and provide them with whatever they might need. My asset is that I never let anything hold me back. If something gets hard for me I try my best to fight back and look past it. My other fear is failing something I've worked so hard and long on. I cant stand when I spend a lot of my time and effort to make good out of something and it all goes to waste when someone makes one little mistake. I talk to different people and do different activates to keep my mood good and achieving.
                        



  I like to go on walks , have talks with my girlfriend about anything that may be wrong because it can get a lot off my mind and make things more positive feeling. I like to think to myself a lot as well after i'm done listening to what others have to say about my thinking's. I feel I can help myself the most with constructive criticism. Everyone has their own problem and ways of dealing with them. They finally have assets and obstacles to add with that as well.




overcoming fear


I have only important things to fear
I'm looking in a mirror
I see me
with a bunch of problems
possibly
but no one can stop
what is meant to be
only make it
somewhat better
unfortunately
let me just say this
I am not to be tampered with
because even this
will not stop the
motive
and im gonna go
get it




                     

              Everyone has their own lives, they have things they like to do, people they like to meet, food they like to eat. Me personally I like to do these type of things as much as I can, whenever I have free time. I am thankful when I have free time because I am normally very busy with school and doing chores around the house. I make sure to take advantage of my free time and use it wisely. The things I do with my free time is I go visit my grandparents house, I go out to eat / to the movies with my family and girlfriend and I also love to work out. Its always important to use your time wisely and take advantage of it, in other words make sure you're dog something that Is going to make a difference in someone life.
             I always feel like I'm doing something good to make a difference in my life or the peoples lives around me. Whenever I go to my grandparents house it like I'm going to visit my whole family because they all pretty much do live there ! On the first floor my cousin and her baby's stay there then on the second floor my grandparents and 3 of my aunts live there. On top of that 2 other of my aunts and 1 of my uncles live down the street as well, so for the most part there's always a lot of people over. One of the main reasons why everyone is there is because of the food ! In Hispanic heritage that is what happens when the elderly have a large family they all gather together in the house and have a great feast !
              On my free time when I'm not at my grandparents I spend time with my mother and sister and girl friend. Depending on how we are all feeling we either are all cleaning the house , watch a movie or go out to eat if we are tired of my grandmas great Spanish food ! Family I everything so we try our best to make ourselves as friendly and helpful to each other. On my free time I try to not be so alone I always try to surround myself with the people I love, because we all make each other feel good no matter what the situation may be , what either one of us are going through , we always make it the best time we can.





MINDfulness


when I am in the moment
I cant stop it
it must be completed
never deleted
why stop when it gets rough
but not get even more tough
do you feel everyone will look at you
as a bluff
no matter the challenges we face
we must stay in the race
keep our mind open
to anything that may come our way
because the only thing I will say
is I'm stopping
I feel the popping
in my veins
the thing that keeps me sane
and away from the pain
which is why I am the most powerful
the most
MINDFUL.

Growing up your parents are all you have, everything you look up to, pretty much what your trying to be. Imagine one of your parents not always being there. Growing up my father was always in and out of my life so it pretty much felt like he wasn't there at all. You need someone to tell you right from wrong, the right directions to go in life and the successful one to go in life. If you don't your going to find out the hard way what those differences are defined as.

My father was always in and out of my life so i thought he just had difficulties that he was trying to overcome. Once he left i realized that it just had to do with him not caring at all. I was in shock, angry disappointed. I really thought that he was trying to change. when he left it just destroyed me. A sign of weakness the sign i needed to know that he was really giving up. In any situation, one persons weakness is another persons strength. I took this opportunity to make myself a better man.

It came to mind that my father was never really a father figure to begin with. Maybe it was for the best to not have someone there that was giving the wrong examples rather than the right. I than began to realize that everything my father doing and saying were opposite of the things regular good father figures do. I just started doing the opposite of anything i could remember him doing. I started becoming more of a great man than he ever will. The way i spoke to people was much more better than how he spoke. The way i treated people was better than he was treating people. I was all round trying to do anything i know my father was never capable of doing. 



Alchemy

temptation vs. INSPIRATION
one is idea of greatness uprising
one is steps taken of uprising greatness
but no one can see this
because it is not something to foresee
but rather to go be

and everybody knows that one day
they will like to say
that they made it 
rather then they faked it

we like to say we came from nothing
then turned it into something
but all these "guys" are always fronting
never confronting
 challenges at hand
and that's why this happened

because rather taking motivation
and turning it into inspiration
they let temtation overtake
what they will never make.

Experiences

                          We all go though different things in our lives that effect us to make certain choices to help us better our knowledge on whatever it may be. What I have noticed is that I have many situations that make me think about life in different points of views. We all go through situations in our lives for a reason for the great or good. You can learn from this experience or you can let it break you and take you down with it. There are 3 different occasions that I have been in which I have had to put myself in a different state of mind to figure out how the situation would go. One time was when my girl friend said she might be pregnant , another is when my father walked out on my family and last is when I first started college.
                         




When I was leaving my job I received a call from my father. He said "tell your mother I'm leaving" I had no response I just hung up. I was in shock to think my own father the man who's suppose to take care of and protect his family would just leave. You expect and look up to the only people that you are surrounded by and sadly that's what I had. I wouldn't be the one to come out the same I thought to myself. The only thought going through my head is what am I going to do to support my family and myself. I was coming up with ideas to make a horrible situation a bit better. I was now responsible, I had to take over I applied to better jobs and started looking for a better school. Anything that I know I could benefit from for my future. This has taught me to become the man I am today.
                 




 Another experience was when my girlfriend told me how she was feeling different. Not feeling right always having some type of pain in the stomach area. She missed her period and all I could think about was could she really be pregnant ? I felt like ever since my father had left I didn't know much about how to be a great dad.  I had to pretty much grow up fast and become the man of the house and for my child I became more responsible. Mentally I felt I was ready I pretty much knew all the steps that had to be made I just had to give it time to make sue that everything falls in place. So I pretty much feel that whatever happened with me and my father was a good way to prepare me for this type of situation because it made me want to be better dad and man for my child. She wasn't pregnant but just having the thought that she could have been taught me the steps I need to take and what I need to do when that day comes.
                                
                      


 College, the start of the new beginning. All that goes through my head is how difficult it is going to be to keep up in class. My whole life I've been going to pilot , charter and college preparation schools. One would think I wouldn't be so nervous even though I was some what prepared for what was coming. All I know is that I'm not coming to school paying to get an education and going to just let it go to waste. I am going to work hard in all my classes and focus on my future. I've learned from past experiences that failure is not an option.


ANGER

Every day goes by
I turn my head up to the sky
wonder why
each day
a new person dies
trying to make a change
persevering to make it through the pain
more and more I gain
when I look within 
there Is no stopping me
once I believe
I will forever achieve
the greater goals
of my expectations
eliminating
any distraction
any interference
I will look past it
and I will own it   
then I will show it
to others who struggle
when we huddle
we are unstoppable

My power

Growing up as a child I felt like I wasn't good at anything. I discovered that my power was standing up for myself and being able to communicate with others. I was being bullied all the time, my grades wasn't all that good and I have a bad skin disorder I was born with which was one of the biggest reasons I got bullied. I felt weak and miserable but I tried to keep my head up regardless. I always felt so hurt inside emotionally and because of my skin disorder called eczema I was also hurt physically. I was always forced to fight back for the fact that they were chasing me trying to beat me up. So after I beat up one of them the rest of them left me alone. I wasn't a violent person at all I just felt that if I had stood up for myself then they would finally leave me alone. Since that day, No one had bothered me or treated me different. I knew I had the power to speak for myself and not let anyone disrespect me. I also have the power to interact well with others. I am an outspoken person and very social. I love to communicate because it you can build connections and relationships with different people all over the world. I believe this is also a power because a lot of people are shy and scared to speak to new people.           




A moment in my life where I felt like I was losing power was when I was having a conversation with two burglars that were trying to take my things. My power is standing up for myself and I was trying to talk to them but they were not listening to what I was trying to tell that, which was something that never happened to me before so I felt like they were belittling me and making me feel like what I had to say wasn't important at all. They just wanted the things I had which I knew wasn't fair because the things I had were expensive and I paid for it with the money that I work very hard for. I was frightened and I felt like there was nothing I could do so I had to take matters into my own hands and  was able to fight them off enough to get away. I was lucky that I had taken boxing classes in the past so I knew how to defense myself.
          



Things that could help me exercise my power is my own experiences. I could use my thoughts of my own experiences from my past to help solve my problematic encounters of the present. It is very useful because what isn't the best way to take care of something than remembering your past encounters with a compatible topic but different timing experiences. Also, at work I use my power of communication  to help solve situations. At Fenway park I have to interact with everyone since I help serve the food and I believe it is great practice because communication is the key and one needs to be able speak to anyone that comes your way.


When I was a limitless child

When I was a limitless child..
my knowledge was mild
but my imagination was wild
curiosity was my strength
the truth was my weakness

as i grew older
i saw the earth grow colder
torment rip trough the eyes
of all the young guys
hearing nothing but the lies

no matter what there's no giving up
i am no longer a young buck
which means no turning back
even if things get hectic
ill just approach it
and attack
head on

To my brother

Dear, Dennis Grajeda

          I just wanted to take a moment to write thank you , thank you for everything that you have done to push and guide me to do the right things in life even though  had persuasion to do things that were not relevant to living a good life. I was always doing the right things but it was obvious that I had minor distractions preventing me from proceeding doing productive things for my life. the purpose o this letter is to show my gratitude to show how grateful to have such a caring and great-directing mentor and brother. You always told me to do MY very best at anything to always push myself and never give up.

The biggest thing that my brother Dennis did for me was open my eye by not telling me what I've done right and wrong but he gives me an example of when he was younger. That's what I really respect that im not just another someone but I am someone to compare to. I'm not someone to look down to, someone who has made bad decisions but I am someone who has a chance, someone with options. Me and Dennis met at birth on July 21st 1994. That was the day I was brought into this cold directionless world. Also the day that I knew my eyes would be opened to a new direction and way of living life. Dennis would always give me examples on how some of the things I do such as leave some trash on the floor or table is a bad habit that if I start leaning it up that it can change how I do everything in positive ways.

As I was growing up Dennis was always I and out of my life because he was in the Marine corps. I was never really a bad child more or less a troubled one. Our family wasn't all together and financially we weren't doing that great. Dennis would always remind me to keep my head up and never think of the bad times as something that will continue that way but rather a obstacle in the way to make you fight harder to get out the struggle. He always pushed me to do good at absolutely everything I could do. If it was good it can be even better !



Dennis inspiration poem

from the day I was born
was the day that you sworn
to be my guardian
help me find myself again
if I was to ever get lost
you would be that light in the sky
that I have to follow
to take away my sorrow
and I knew that I could fly
or atleast imagine
with the intelligence I must barrow
to have a wider range of options
rather than
narrow